Somebody That I Used To Know
by There-Is-No-Dawn-At-Twilight
Summary: Edward left Bella to give her a chance of normality, but after he returns to Forks after learning of a certain tragedy will he be able to stay away? Or will he give in? Totally B/E!
1. Edward: She'll Be Okay

**A/N : Okay, folks. This story goes from when Edward left Bella in the forest, back in New Moon. I was trying to stick to the character as much as possibly (all self-loathing and that, you know!) but I don't know how it came across. Right ... here goes!**

*** Edward P.O.V ***

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><p>I ran away. Leaving her in the blackness of the forest, all alone.<p>

The regret and pain sank in so quickly that it almost felt natural. The look on her face repeating over and over in my head as I told her I was leaving. I promised myself that I would never hurt her. That I would never put her in any kind of danger, yes, but also that I would never upset her … and I failed.

Maybe I should have gone back and said a proper goodbye, given an honest explanation for my leaving but I didn't want to upset her any further.

I should have at least have taken her home, back to Charlie, where she was safe instead of abandoning her there. But if she had began begging for me to stay I knew that I wouldn't have been able to say no, and I needed her to have a normal, happy life. For her. For Charlie and Renee. For me.

My family had already left Forks. Our cover was that we were moving to LA, which was a ridiculous concept considering our … _'state'_, but the people of Forks didn't know our secret so it made no difference to be honest. I didn't know where I was going to go, what my plan was. All I could focus on was not returning to that forest. So I continued to run, never stopping …

It wasn't until I reached the Canadian border that I really began thinking my plan through. I knew that I wasn't going to with my family, that was a certainty. Not only did I not want to bring my problems and mistakes down on them, but I didn't want to be around course I would check in with them ... every month or so. They had been my comfort for so long, my parents and my siblings, my strength … but without Isabella it meant nothing. I didn't need anything but her.

_You're not going back there! _I repeatedly told myself, possibly thousands of times. _She'll be happier without you!_

But there was a part of me … and incredibly selfish part … that wondered if she really would be. Although I didn't, and never did, believe that her love for me was as strong as my love for her I considered if it was what kept her going. My presence, my existence.

_No. Of course not … She's human. She'll forget and she'll heal. She'll be okay … _I told myself. _She'll be okay._

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><p><strong>AN : I know that it's short but it's more of an introduction than an actual chapter ... if that makes sense XD**


	2. Bella: Sleepless Night

*** Bella's P.O.V ***

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><p><strong>3 Years Later<strong>

I watched the clock on my bedside table slowly rotate towards midnight as I laid on my side. It was almost my 21st birthday and just like every other birthday I had had I wasn't planning on celebrating it. However, unlike my other birthdays nobody else was planning on celebrating it either. The people of my small hometown of Forks knew that I wasn't interested in their well wishes nor their presents, they knew to keep their distance though that's what everybody did nowadays.

Since the … incident, people were wary of me. They didn't know how I would react to the simplest "Hello" or "Good morning, Bella!", and to be completely honest I didn't blame them because even I didn't know how I'd react. I was what my mother called "a ticking time bomb." I was no longer her "open book" as she used to call me … it was as if she didn't know me at all anymore.

My relationship with my mother had somewhat deteriorated which was possibly the worst thing that could have happened after everything I had been through, and her husband Phil didn't even bother to speak to me anymore after I attacked his car with his most cherished baseball bat. I think that was the final straw for him but my mother attempted many times to get him to accept one of my many apologies. Since then I only visited Jacksonville twice a year, sometimes not even that, due to the awkwardness that surrounded our conversations ... what was of them anyway.

But it was no different to being in Forks. My father, Charlie and his new wife Sue Clearwater were a little bit more subtle when asking me how I was feeling but even that was frustrating enough to push me over the edge and scare them away from me for a few days, maybe even a week. I was never a people person, always a little abnormal to others, but this was hell. People just ignored me.

The hand was almost at twelve and my stomach sank. Every birthday since my 18th reminded me of … _him. _

I rolled onto my back in a completely useless attempt to clear my head of thoughts of him but it did nothing but cramp my back up. I pissed me off that I couldn't even say his name but it just brought everything back and I didn't need that on my plate right now. I pushed my legs out of bed, slipping my feet into some slippers and put on my old jumper. I figured that if I wouldn't be getting any sleep then I might as well do something useful rather than laying awake all night.

I trudged down the stairs careful not to wake Sue or her son, Seth, who frequently stayed in the spare room next to mine. It was strange having a step-brother, especially considering he was a werewolf, but it was also somewhat comforting. Knowing that not only could he protect me but I could look after him and do something useful. His older sister Leah, was not so keen on staying over. She had accepted her mothers relationship with my father but despised me. I was happy to return the feelings.

The house was cold, as per usual, and my slippers slipped on the tiles of the kitchen floor. Thank God I was fully woken otherwise I would have been on the floor with a fractured neck. Everything was the same. The dining table and it's chairs, the counters and the appliances. Nothing seemed to change in this house. It was as if it was frozen in time. I walked steadily over to the fridge and rustled around for something quick to eat, I wasn't in the mood to cook especially at this time in the morning. I found some mini sausages and placed them on the table as I reached for some tomato sauce. At that point, something moved behind me. I was always incredibly cautious nowaday, not to mention paranoid, so I jumped with shock and a small yelp escaped my lips.

"Shh! You wanna wake the whole neighborhood, Bells?"

I turned to see Charlie in the doorway of the kitchen, one hand rubbing his eyes, the other clutching the wheel of his wheelchair.

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><p><strong>AN : I was gonna do something proper dramatic there but I thought I'd leave that all till later. ;)**

**What do you think? x**


	3. Edward: Family Reunion

*** Edward P.O.V ***

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><p>It had been three years since I'd seen her face yet I could still see it so clearly. So perfectly. I could still hear her voice and smell the scent of her hair … and it killed me every time I did so.<p>

I stood outside my family's home, trying to clear my head of the memories. My 'mother', Esme insisted that I come home every few weeks so that she could reassure herself of my safety. Even though she wasn't my real mother it felt that way. She cared for me like a mother should despite being younger than me … well, immortal wise. My 'father', Carlisle agreed. He had been my companion for so long, almost one hundred and fifteen years, and I think my absence effected his usually calm exterior.

Of course I missed them too, as well as my siblings, but the pain never vanquished. It was always there in the pit of my stomach and they saw that every time I checked in with them.

"Edward!" a small voice gasped, distracting me from my thoughts. "You're here!"

It was Alice. She skipped towards me, her arms open for a hug which I unwillingly accepted. It looked like she'd just come back from hunting. Her short black hair was slightly ruffled and there was a small tear on her blouse. She may be tiny but she's strong. Her arms wrapped around my neck with such force that a human would have suffered whiplash. "I missed you! How have you been?"

I pulled away from her and met her gaze with a blank expression. "Terrible."

"That's what you said last time," she sighed "can't you try to be a little happier?"

"Easier said than done." I laughed without humour.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the door, "Esme's going to be so happy to see you!"

I gently pulled it away, "I'm not staying, Alice. You know that."

"You can't go without seeing everyone! We've missed you like crazy, Edward!"

Her eyes were wide and almost watery, if it were possible. As much as I loved Alice, she was incredibly persistent and difficult. Didn't she understand that I just wanted to be alone?

"Can't you just tell them that I turned up?" I said.

"No!" she shrieked. Then a smirk spread across her pointy face, "Ah, Rosalie's coming."

Brilliant.

Rosalie gracefully came into view. They'd definitely been hunting. Her always perfect hair was a mess. She sighed when she saw my eyes examining her dishevelled hair. "Emmett thought it'd be funny to tackle me."

She placed her hand on my shoulder and smiled slightly, "It's good to see you."

I faked a smile and changed the subject swiftly, "If you guys were hunting then why is Esme inside?"

"She and Carlisle hunted yesterday. Carlisle's -"

"…right here." Carlisle interrupted her.

I could see that I wasn't going to get out of this one easily. They were going to make me stay whether I liked it or not.

"Where are you staying now?" Esme asked me conversationally.

"No where in particular," I muttered, "I was in Ecuador for a while but then I went back to Rio."

Rio was where I usually ended up nowadays. If I ever went anywhere I always ended up back there. My family had been staying in Alaska with the Denali clan before they acquired their own home. Permanent home.

"Any plans to go anywhere else?" Emmett asked. I knew what he was getting at. "Africa, Australia … Washington?"

I didn't bother to look at him nor answer his question. He knew the answer perfectly well.

We all sat in their living room on their sofas in which Esme had arranged into a near perfect circle. They were all looking at me. I was well aware of the dark purple circles under my eyes, as well as my crumpled clothing. Everyone was examining me, my physical and mental state. All but one … who appeared to be missing.

"Where did Alice go?" I asked. It was aimed at no one in particular.

Rosalie tensed up a little, "She likes to check up on things every once in a while."

I could tell by her voice and the reactions of the others that there was more to it than that. "What do you mean? What things? Why couldn't she check up on them here?"

I didn't mean for it to sound so aggressive but I wasn't in the right frame of minde for this conversation … or any conversation at all for that matter.

They all looked uncertainly at each other. Carlisle looked me in the eyes, "You have to remember that Forks was Alice's home too."

Forks. The name made my head swirl.

She left so that I couldn't see what she was seeing. Typical ...

"What's she checking up on?" I growled.

"Edward, calm yourself." Esme whispered. I suddenly felt extremely relaxed.

"Japser, stop!" I roared, snapping out of it. "What is she checking up on?" I knew of course. They wouldn't have kept it from me otherwise.

"Not Bella." Emmett said, holding his hands up, "Just the town. The people, events … stuff like that!"

"She's never intentionally looked for Bella." Jasper said. "But because she's so attuned to her she's just kind of ... pops up every now and again." They all surrounded me now, ready to grab me if I lurched for one of them. I never would of course … if I could help it.

"Intentionally looked for her?" I repeated. "So she's seen her?"

"Yes." Rosalie said simply.

"Why? Why would she see h-" I struggled to find the words.

Carlisle and Esme looked at each other. It looked like they were debating something, and they were purposely keeping me out of their heads. I couldn't hear anything, that I needed or wanted to hear anyway. Carlisle nodded surely and turned to me.

"Son, we weren't going to tell you. We figured it'd be difficult for you to unders-"

"What happened to her?" I interrupted him.

He sighed, "…there was an accident."

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><p><strong>AN : I'm trying to write longer chapters cos' I know how annoying little ones are!**

**Again, I'm trying to stick with what the characters personalities are like in the books and not change them too much. So I hope that worked out okay. :) x**


	4. Bella: Officially 21

**A/N : I swear my chapters are always so short! I hope that's not a problem :S**

**Back to Bella's point of view!**

*** Bella P.O.V ***

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><p>"Did I wake you?" I whispered, feeling slightly guilty. Charlie hadn't been sleeping much lately and it didn't help his mood.<p>

"No. I was already up, of course." he muttered that last part.

Charlie wheeled over towards the dining table, "So, what are we having?"

"Mini sausages. With…" I paused, reaching for the sauce, "tomato ketchup."

I didn't bother telling him to go back and get some sleep. He slept on the couch now considering that he couldn't get up the stairs anymore, and let's just say that I didn't get my stubbornness from my mother.

"Bon appetite." I said with a poor attempt at a French accent.

Setting two small plates onto the table I sat in a chair next to his wheelchair, keeping at a certain distance. I still wasn't fully 'okay' with him being stuck in it.

He bit half of a sausage before looked at me seriously. I couldn't understand his expression. He looked sad … nervous almost., "Don't flip out, okay."

I stopped chewing. And breathing apparently. "Oh, God what?"

"…Happy Birthday."

I exhaled quickly and playfully threw a sausage at him. "Don't do that, you scared me!" He gave me a apologetic smile. "But thanks ... I guess."

"My little girl … 21 years old." he mumbled.

I had a hard enough time as it was dealing with that fact, I didn't need him clarifying it. I turned to see the clock on the wall … 12:08. Officially 21. I had been through so much that maybe this wasn't a bad thing at all, that I could really turn things around and have a good year.

"What are you plans for today then?" he asked, sensing my wandering thoughts.

"Uh, nothing. You know. It's my birthday it's just another day for me."

He stared at his hands, "I thought you'd want to go and see him."

"Who? Jacob?" I said, through gritted teeth.

"No. Not Jacob," he struggled to say his name. "…him, you know."

I couldn't understand who he meant. There were only two people who I could think of but I couldn't bring myself to mention them. I was positive of which one it was and I felt the blood rush to my face. Not through embarrassment or anger, but sadness. Just the thought of him made my insides squirm with guilt and loss. It was the most horrible feeling ever but I brought myself back into the present moment and recovered, ignoring the blush. Thankfully, Charlie did too.

"I don't know who you're talking about," I said unconvincingly, "you should get some sleep, Dad. I don't want Sue angry at me for keeping you up."

I got up and walked towards the stairs, patting him on the shoulder as I did so. There are some things that I cannot talk to anyone about and the accident was one of them. I think that it helped Charlie to talk about it, comforted him almost, which was unusual since he usually bottled things up. I however found it better to lock it away in a drawer and never open it again even if I was starving and there was a Subway sandwich in there.

I'd been through the counselling process many, many times and for several reasons but it didn't help. I have a theory that it never helps. The timeline of my life is more dramatic than Henry VIII's and I'm pretty sure that no trained therapist or psychiatrist could fix it.

I knew for a fact that me going back upstairs to my bedroom was pointless so I got dressed and fixed myself up before preparing for a drive to … I don't even know where. I'd go wherever the road took me. I just needed to get some air. Get away from here.

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><p><strong>AN: Arrrrrr, I swear I'll get to what happened later. I'm just building it all up ;) **


	5. Edward: Back To Forks

*** Edward's P.O.V ***

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><p>How could they not tell me sooner? How could they keep this from me? My family!<p>

I stormed out of the house not bothering to close the door behind me. Alice followed, tugging on my arm begging for me to stay. She said that I was "overreacting", but this was everything but that. Bella had been in pain and nobody told me. I wrestled Alice's tiny hand off of my arm, not uttering another word and set of into a run that would make a race car look slow. I hadn't run that fast since I left Forks and Bella. Now I was racing to get back to her.

I knew it was a bad idea. I had promised to stay away forever, promised that she would never see me again but I needed to know that she was alright. From what my family had told me she was fragile so I needed to figure out how to approach her without damaging her any further.

I thought about what she would look like. It had been three years, she must have changed unlike myself. Would she want to see me? Or would I make her even worse? A part of me wished for that. For her to reject me because that would be a good thing. She had moved on and had finally gotten some sense of the danger that I was to her. But then again, I wanted to help her and make her feel just that little bit happier. I knew that my sudden appearance wouldn't do much but maybe it would do something of importance.

I had no plans of staying of course. I would see her and then leave. I couldn't do what I had done last time and take it too far again and risk her safety. But maybe if I had the strength to leave once then I could do it again … maybe.

I paused just outside of Washington, still in the outskirts of British Columbia, deliberating what I was about to do. This could go well or horribly wrong. I could hurt her even more but I needed to see her. I was desperate to see her and to reach her as if she was the last remaining source of oxygen in the world. I inhaled an unnecessary breath and began running again.

It was at least three o'clock in the morning. My journey had taken two hours or so, so she'd probably still be asleep. I remembered her bedroom. Tiny yet classic, just like her. Her purple bed sheets which I used to pull over her every night, her many Shakespeare inspired posters clinging onto the walls, her crumpled copy of Wuthering Heights on her bedside table … I never understood her love for that book.

I stopped when 'Newton's Olympic Outfitters', the store owned by Mike Newton and his family, and changed to a more 'human' running pace. The town appeared to be the same, dull, rainy place it had always been, but just because it was early in the morning and there was nobody around that didn't mean I could risk my existence. People who drove past in their cars, possibly driving to work, eyed me suspiciously but I barely noticed them. My mind was elsewhere.

I passed Forks High School, the Police Station and the Hospital in which Carlisle previously worked before a familiar scent passed my nose. It was too familiar and tempting. The only scent that made it a difficulty to be around humans. It was hers. She was close … very close.

I stopped running and inhaled the scent, too deeply perhaps. It stung my throat and not in a bad way. It felt good. Her scent was different to others and I could never decide whether that was a good thing or not. As our relationship grew I got better at resisting her _and _wanting her in a way that didn't endanger her. But I had been away from her for so long. I had become totally desensitized.

I looked around to get an idea of where it was strongest … north. South? Definitely south.

"Bella." I whispered to myself. It felt good saying her name. I spotted her rustic, orange truck roughly twenty-five feet away. She still had it. I couldn't help but laugh to myself, I was surprised that it was still going after all this time. But she wasn't with it … she was close though.

It was then that I saw her. She was sitting on the sidewalk by the church, her face in her knees, arms on her ankles. I think she was crying. I took a careful step towards her, lowering my head to get a glimpse of her face. What was she doing out here all by herself at this time in the morning?

"Bella?" I murmured, I didn't want to startle her. I failed.

Her body tensed up and her hands gripped her ankles tightly. I think she stopped breathing for a second, her heart slowed.

She raised her head slowly and her beautiful brown eyes met mine. "Edward?"

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><p><strong>AN: Yaaaaay. They together again ... kinda O_e**

**Just wanna say thank you for the reviews, they were really sweet guys and I really appreciate it! You have no idea! Next chapter will be up soon. I promise.**

**xoxo**


	6. Bella: Masen

**A/N : I would just like to thank those of you who have reviewed and favourited the story, you have no idea how much that means to me so thank you so, so much!**

**...and here we go. **

*** Bella's P.O.V ***

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><p>I was hallucinating. I knew it.<p>

There was no way in hell that he was actually there standing in front of me. Concern was all over his face. His eyes were sad and his eyebrows furrowed in frustration. He couldn't read my mind so the reason for the frustration was obvious.

"Edward?" I gasped in a quiet, rough voice.

He relaxed a little, maybe because he knew I wasn't completely brain-dead. I mean what was I doing? Sitting in front of a church crying! Who does that?

No normal person anyways.

He seemed uncertain whether to come closer to me, barely moving his feet as he took a step.

"Bella?" he said, clearer than before, "Are you okay, love?"

Oh, god. I felt my heart pump harder as he said it. Love. He used to call me that a lot.

I figured he wasn't going to come any closer so I lifted myself from the ground. "Wha- why are you …" I couldn't figure out what to say.

"…here?" he finished for me. He looked down at his feet and frowned. He looked uncomfortable, which was unusual for him. But what did I know. We hadn't seen each other for years and although his physical appearance hadn't changed his ability to talk to me had. "I'm here to see you, of course."

He said that last part as if it was blatantly obvious, and it was.

I pushed my hand through my hair trying to comprehend what was happening. Why was he here to see me? Hadn't he promised never to come back. I felt somewhat cheated. As though I went through all of that pain for nothing.

I don't know what happened after that. Edward came towards me, one arm wrapping around my waist pulling me against his body, the other resting on my head. I forgot how cold and hard his body was but it didn't effect me at all. It felt normal and safe. I felt my troubles float away as he held me tightly.

"I came to see if you were okay." he murmured into my ear. Oh, god his voice. It was just as perfect as always. I barely listened to what he was saying. "Alice … told me."

I froze and pulled away. She knew … he knew.

"Wh- what? Alice saw what happe-" I couldn't breathe let alone speak.

Edward put his hands on my face, "Shh, calm down. It's okay." he soothed me, "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"Is that why you're here?" I felt myself getting angry, "You're not here to see me, to have a nice reunion. You just wanted to make sure I didn't top myself!"

"No. Well, yes. I knew you hadn't … killed yourself." he gritted his teeth, "I just wanted …_ needed_ to see you. To make sure that you were okay."

I'd hurt his feelings, and my stomach twisted at the thought of hurting him but I couldn't help but feel that way.

"You know…" I whispered into his ear as I returned to the hug.

"Yes, I do. Is that why you're _here._" he looked up at the church.

I turned my head to look too. This church was strangely comforting for me. Even though it brought back some bad memories I was calmer when I was here.

I grasped his hand and pulled him towards the church. He didn't say anything, he didn't ask why, he just took my hand and walked with me.

I wanted him to see. I didn't want him to think that I was there for the hell of it especially at such an early time, I wasn't the complete nut-job that everyone thought I was nowadays. He needed to see.

I took him through the pathway and around the church, his hand in mine the whole time. I tightened my grip on his hand as we walked up to the gate of the graveyard. It wasn't as beautiful at night as it was in the day. The brightly coloured flowers that were left by loved ones didn't shine as they did in day.

It suddenly dawned on me. What was I doing? He had been back less than five minutes and I seemed to have already forgiven him for everything. Is that how our relationship, or what was of it, would play out? I just couldn't bring myself to hate him and although there was a part of me that did, I knew why he left me and I'd accepted it.

He lifted a stray strand of my hair behind my ear with his other hand and wiped away a tear that escaped from my eye and rolled down my cheek.

It was as if he never left.

"I don't usually like to bring people here with me," I said conversationally. It was so easy to talk to him, "unless it's my parents."

He smiled a little and rubbed his thumb on my hand. "Alice didn't tell me much, if that comforts you at all."

I let out a small laugh, "Surprisingly, it doesn't. It just makes it harder for me to explain."

"You don't have to explain."

"I want you to know." I said.

I stopped walking and so did he. My heart was pounding through my chest. "This is him."

Edward looked sad, but then smiled. I knew I had some explaining to do, although it was pretty self explanatory.

"Edward, this is my son." It was surprisingly difficult to say the word. "Masen."

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><p><strong>AN : I know that Masen is usually spelt with an "O" but I just didn't want to change it from how it's spelt in the books!**

**What do you think? If you review I'll give you my virtual hug of appreciation and be eternally grateful! XD**


	7. Edward: Bella, the Rebel

**A/N : Can I just say that I love Jacob Black (not as much as Edward) but I do love him. He's a lovely character and I have nothing against him whatsoever ...**

**... phew. Okay now that I've got that out here's the next chapter XD**

*** Edward's P.O.V ***

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><p>It was a beautiful grave. White and tidy. Perched against it lay some newly laid lilies, obviously from Bella. She loved lilies.<p>

"I don't need to explain the name, do I?" she asked rhetorically.

"No." I smiled, "Why did you decide to name him that?"

"It wasn't an intentional choice. I didn't intend to name him after you. I just …" she inhaled deeply. "I was looking through one of those books, the name ones, and I saw it."

She seemed to be reminiscing. I didn't want to interrupt her, I guessed that any positive thought she could think of would be a good thing. She stood smiling for a moment before continuing.

"After I saw it I couldn't get it out of my head. It just … fit." she placed her spare hand on her stomach, "He felt like a Masen. And Charlie liked it so that was good. He seemed to disagree with all of my other choices."

"What did his father think of the name?" I asked.

I had no problem saying that, or talking about whoever the father of her child was. As long as he didn't treat her like dirt then I had no problem with him. If he made her happy then I was too.

"Um … wow, that's another long story."

"I have plenty of time."

She deliberated for a moment, "After you left I got a little … rebellious. It started with not doing my homework and then it just escalated to partying. Drinking, smoking, violence … you know."

This shocked me. Of all of the things I was prepared for that wasn't one of them. Bella was never what you would call, "rebellious".

"Anyway," she continued, distracting me from my thoughts, "I went to this party, it was pretty wild. When I woke up the next morning I didn't remember anything at all. Charlie was pissed, of course but by that time that had become the norm." she sighed. This was difficult for her, I could see it on her face. I was considering stopping her but she carried on. "I was at school one day and I got sick. Really sick, it was sort of unbearable, so I had to go to the hospital and … yeah. I was pregnant. Again, Charlie was pissed and my mom was pretty disappointed but she supported my decision to keep him."

I felt suddenly angry that she went through this alone, that nobody came forward and helped her out. I couldn't loose control around her though, not now.

She began to cry. I hated it when she cried, though she had thousands of times since I had left.

"Hey... what's wrong?"

"I want to tell you but I can't!" she sobbed into my arm. I wrapped my other arm around her, still keeping my hand in hers, and pulled her into a hug.

"I told you, you don't have to." I comforted her, "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, or tell me anything you don't want me know."

"But I want you to know!" she cried, "You have to! You just have to!"

"Okay..."

I walked her over to a nearby bench and sat her down next to me. Her hand was still in mine and her face was buried into my shoulder.

"Tell me. I'm hear for as long as you need me. I'll listen … tell me."

She lifted her head and wiped her eyes. She looked so grown up. The way I remembered her was totally different … a child almost. Her face was more defined, she'd gotten taller and slimmer but she was still my Bella.

"I can't ..." she squeezed her eyes shut.

"Just breathe. Breathe, Bella."

Okay … okay." she breathed,

She was so reluctant to tell me but she wanted to. I didn't understand it. A huge part of me wanted to know but what I wanted wasn't of importance right now.

"He was killed." she blurted out quickly and quietly.

That surprised me. Who would want to kill a child?

I didn't speak. I didn't want to interrupt her.

"Well, I say he was killed … everyone just say's that he died in the accident." she stopped, "You know about the accident though."

"Alice told me that there was an accident. I knew that you had a child and that he died in the accident but she didn't give me details."

"Well, yeah. He _was_ killed. I don't care what anybody say's. He killed him."

_He_? I tried to keep focus but if someone hurt Bella emotionally or physically the I wanted to know about it. "Who killed him?" I asked.

"Jacob."

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><p><strong>AN : Arrrrgh, I'm sorry about this guys! I really like Jacob but using him just kinda works for the plot you know.**

**The next chapter probably won't be up till late Monday so stay tuned okay ;) xx**


	8. Flashback

**A/N : This is a flashback chapter and this is where I finally tell you everything ... or Bella does anyway. ;)**

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><p><span>1 Year Previously<span>

"I know that we've had our differences Charlie, but I still like to think of you as family." my mother toasted.

It was his 47th birthday and we were celebrating at the diner, which was by far the fanciest place that Charlie would allow us to celebrate in Forks. I had invited my mother and her husband Phil as they were in California for a vacation at the time and I figured it wouldn't hurt if they tagged along. My parents didn't have a difficult relationship considering the way that their marriage had ended when I was just a baby, and neither did Charlie and Phil. They seemed to enjoy having conversations about sport whilst my mother and I cooed over my son.

"…so in conclusion to this rather awkward and pointless toast," my mother giggled, "Happy Birthday, Charlie."

"Happy Birthday!" we all cheered.

Charlie blushed at the attention and returned to his meal after muttering what I think was a "Thank you." He sat next Phil, who was trying to move the wine from my mothers side as she attempted to re-take her seat without collapsing. Next to her was Jacob, who was feeding Masen fries.

Despite Jacob's initial disliking to him, he and Masen got along incredibly well. He was the closest thing to a father that Masen had and I loved that, although I made sure that he knew the 'rules' as I would call them. Jacob would just nod and agree but there was always something about his response that made wonder if I was leading him on.

"Do you like that?" he asked Masen. "Fries are g-ood!"

"Don't give him to many of those!" I snapped, snatching the plate from Jacob's side. "He's a baby not a machine!"

"But he likes them!"

"I don't care!"

"Hey, now guys!" Charlie intercepted. "Jacob, don't give him anymore fries. And Bella, ease up a little."

"Fine." we both muttered. We sounded like children.

I looked at Masen who sat by my side in a high chair. Sometimes I couldn't believe that he was mine. He had inherited my deep brown eyes and Charlie's curly hair however so that always brought me back to reality a little. His hair was blonde though so he must have gotten that from his father, whoever that was. Despite his father being unknown to me I thought I was doing a pretty good job in raising him. He was cuddly and sweet, he slept when he knew he had too and was affectionate towards pretty much everyone. Jacob's friends on the Quileute reservation had such fun with him one time when I let him baby-sit him that I had to go over there and get him.

Masen straightened me out. After I got pregnant I stopped the drinking and the smoking, I began studying again and re-took all of the tests that I had missed. It was my final year in school so I had to get my shit together otherwise I'd end up in some dodgy apartment complex.

"Jacob, ease up on the beer, yeah?" I told him sternly. I felt like his mom sometimes.

"What? I'm just relaxing … ease up a little." he said, quoting my dad.

"I know, I can see that," I whispered, glaring at the many empty bottles of beer that were lined up on the table. "I just don't want Masen to see you drunk."

He laughed (very drunkenly), "He's a baby. He doesn't know what's happening. I'm just really happy! Aren't I, Masen?"

I shrugged it off. Maybe he was right. Masen just giggled.

"Okay." Charlie said, patting his large stomach. "I'm full, I'm tired and I'm ready to go home."

"Whoa, there. Are you sure you're not expecting?" Phil roared.

Charlie playfully punched him on the arm and lifted himself off of the chair. "Can we go?" he asked me.

"Uh, I think …" I looked around the table, "Are you guys all done?"

Everyone seemed to have finished so we all began to say our goodbyes. It was always a difficulty saying goodbye to my mother, she was like my best friend, but she had her own life too.

We all stood outside the diner, hugging and making plans to meet up again. It was nice to be in such a happy environment. It made a change.

"Oh, shoot!" my mother groaned. "I've left my purse inside. Can you guys hold up for a second?"

She tottered back inside, a little tipsy, to fetch her purse. I noticed that she wasn't the only one that was a little drunk.

"Jacob!" I moaned, "You can't drive home in your state."

He frowned, "My 'state'? Are you serious? I'm fine! I can drive myself home."

"No you're can't!" I said, arching Masen away from him. I didn't want him near him when he was like that. "Listen, wait here. I'll go ask Charlie if he can drive you home after we've dropped my mom and Phil off at the station. She's just getting her purse, she won't be long. Wait here!" I told him. I didn't want him wandering off.

"I can drive…" I heard him mumble.

I tightened my grip on Masen as he began to drift off in my arms and walked over to Charlie. I don't know how we were going to fit all six of us in his cruiser especially taking Jacob's size into account but I'm sure we'd find a way.

"Dad," I began, "We need to take Jacob home. He's not going to be able to drive, he's wasted."

Charlie groaned, "Are you serious, Bells? My car's only tiny I don't think that we'd all fit."

"Well, if we put the car seat somewhere else then Masen can sit on my lap and mom, Phil and Jacob will go in the back."

"Yeah but Jacob and Phil are both pretty large, Bella."

"Oh, come on! Are we going to just leave him here?"

I turned to point at Jacob but he was gone. "Motherfu-"

"What is it?" Charlie interrupted me.

"I told him to wait there!"

Phil wandered over to us, "He's drunk Bella, did you really expect him to listen."

Charlie sighed, "Look, go get in the car with the baby, it's cold. If he doesn't wander back by the time that we're all in the car then I'll get somebody to search for him, okay."

That did sound like a good idea. It was cold and Masen wasn't wearing a jacket. I somewhat reluctantly agreed and got into the cruiser, with the baby on my lap. He wasn't fully asleep but he was definitely nearly out. I carefully removed my cardigan and wrapped it around his tiny frame as I waited for my everyone to get in. I saw Charlie wander over by himself and get in the drivers seat.

"Your mother has lost her house key's." he moaned. "She's so unorganized. I wondered where you got that from."

"Haha, you're so funny." I laughed sarcastically.

He stroked Masen's hair gently, "Poor thing. He's so tired."

"I know. I need to get him into bed … now." I glared out of the window. My mother was nowhere in sight. How long did it take to find some keys? "And judging by the amount of fries that Jacob gave him he's going to have a nice surprise for me later."

Charlie laughed. It was nice that there was no longer any friction between us. We felt like a little family. Charlie and Masen were the only two people that I felt didn't either leave me or die. They were always with me. I was lost in thought again as I looked down at my son, who was now sleeping. He was so perfect. In many ways he reminded me of him. Of Edward. He was the one person who I could be totally free with. I forgot all of my troubles when I was with him and there was always that part of me that wished, however ridiculous the concept may have been, that he was his father.

A screech of brakes distracted me and I looked over to see Charlie's horrified face. He lurched towards me and the baby, his arms out as if ready to shield us. I turned my head to see a car speeding towards us at a terrifying speed ... Jacob at the wheel. Before I could comprehend what was happening, the car hit us with such a force that the cruiser flipped onto it's side. I gripped hold of my baby and squeezed my eyes shut as screams, crashes and crunches blocked out my thoughts. I felt the roof of the car hit the ground before rotating again.

I blacked out.

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><p><strong>AN : I don't even know what to say O_o**


	9. Bella: My Life, My Heart and My Soul

**A/N : I cannot begin to tell you how grateful I am for the reviews! They're all so lovely and so are you guys. Thank you so fucking much! I'm on such a high now XD**

*** Bella P.O.V ***

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><p>"Bella, I'm so sorry." Edward whispered in my ear, his cool breath making the hairs on the back of my neck stand parallel. I sat with my head in his shoulder whilst I told him. I didn't want to face him or see his perfect eyes.<p>

"You have nothing to be sorry for. You weren't there."

"Exactly. I wasn't," he said, "but I _should_ have been."

I pulled away from him. "Don't do that."

He looked confused, and kind of hurt, "Do what?"

"You can't be everywhere at once, as much as you'd probably want to be. You left for the right reasons. I took me a while to realise it but you did. If you hadn't had left then I wouldn't have had him. I wouldn't have become some irresponsible child and got myself pregnant. It was wrong … the way I brought him into this world. Cruel actually, and the way he left was crueller but I don't regret a single second of his life. You couldn't have stopped it, Edward…" I put my hands on his face. I felt a pain in my chest that I hadn't felt for a while. I hadn't been able to talk this openly about Masen to anyone and I never expected to be this close to Edward ever again.

"…I could of. If I was there."

"That! That right there is what I mean!" I groaned, pulling my hands away from his face.

Edward's eyes widened with shock, "What?"

"You cannot blame yourself for everything! Everything happens for a fucking reason, okay! I moved here to this crappy town to meet you. You left me so that I'd realise what a naive kid I was. And someday," I felt the tears overflow from my eyes and roll down my cheeks, "I'll find the reason why he was taken away from me."

"Jacob's the reason he was taken away from you, Bella. His immaturity and …"

I held my hands up, interrupting him silently. "Don't. Don't even say … his name. I have enough difficulty getting Charlie to stop saying it."

"I wish I could make you feel better." he sighed, "Do something to help, but … I can't."

I hesitated. I could risk him staying if I said what I was thinking.

"You can stay." I said into the sleeve of my shirt. I'm surprised he heard me. "That would make me feel a little better."

"Of course. I'll stay as long as you need me."

That took me by surprise. "R-Really? You'll stay?"

"If that's what you want then, yes. I'll stay with you. I promise."

I mumbled a "thank you" and he kissed my forehead with such gentle pressure that if I wasn't incredibly aware of his presence then I wouldn't have felt it.

"But now, I think I should get you home." he smiled slightly, looking at Masen's grave, "Unless you want to stay with him."

"No. I think we should leave him for now."

We rose from the bench and I entwined my fingers into his. He gladly accepted. I wasn't sure how long he actually planned on staying despite promising to stay as long as I wanted him too. But the problem was that I always wanted him, and he knew that … before he left and after. As much as I trusted Edward with my life, my heart and my soul, I couldn't trust that promise. I tightened my grip on his hand and looked up at his face. He smiled down at me, that perfectly crooked half-smile that I always loved. The one that turned my knees to jelly. He was there and I wasn't about to let him go easily. I looked back at my beloved boy and I kissed two of my fingers before placing them carefully onto his cold tombstone.

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><p><strong>AN: I know that it's only short but it was quite sweet. I'm gonna get to some Edward & Bella "lovin'" (as I like to call it) soon, I pinky promise :) x**

**Please, please, please leave a review. I don't like to beg for them but they've been so amazing I'd love to hear more of your thoughts **

**xox**


	10. Edward: Swan Residence

**A/N : The review's ... oh, god the reviews are killing me. Thank you guys so much! And to all of you who have favourited the story. It means so much to me. **

**Anyway, Im not really good at writing "sexy" things, if you know what I mean. I can picture it in my head ... sometimes it gets a little out of control ... but I can't really put it into words. I tried with this chapter to do something a little sexy but I didn't want to overdo it cos' Bella's a little upset (perhaps an understatement) and I didn't want this to become really smutty XD**

**And here we go ... **

*** Edward P.O.V ***

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><p>"Where's your car?" Bella asked me.<p>

"I didn't bring one. I ran."

She frowned, "You ran? From where?"

"Alaska." I said simply. "I didn't think that would surprise you."

"It didn't." she lied.

I lifted her into the passenger seat of her truck and strapped her in.

What was I doing? Why did I promise her I'd stay, when I promised myself that I wouldn't? I couldn't leave her though. Not for my own selfish reasons, which did play a large part in it, but because she had just confided in me about something that was incredibly difficult for her to talk about. I couldn't just leave her again after that.

Why did I call her "love"? Wouldn't that give her the wrong impression. Obviously I said it because I love her and I care but I didn't want her to misinterpret why I came to see her. And I kissed her forehead … why? She seemed so happy when I did it, comforted by my touch.

I needed to find a way of leaving without hurting her before this went any further.

"Thanks." she smiled as I strapped her in.

I rushed over to the drivers side and headed towards her house. The road was so familiar. It was as if I were driving her home from school like every other day before my departure. Her knee was close to my thigh, her body just inches away from mine.

"I hope Charlie hasn't noticed I'm gone," she said, "I think he'd flip."

"You went for a walk. It's not a crime."

"Yeah, but I've scared him so much lately … for the past couple of years really, I don't think he can take much more."

"How's he coping with the wheelchair?"

Her face dropped. "Okay, considering he's completely confined to it."

I looked at her face, she looked so sad. I unthinkingly pulled a strand of hair away with one of my hands and touched her face with my thumb. She closed her eyes at the touch. "You blame yourself." I said angrily yet calmly. I was pleading she'd say no.

"Of course."

I stopped the car in the middle of the road, not bothering to pull over to the side. "Don't say that. Don't even think it!" I roared. "I won't have you blaming yourself for any of this, Bella!"

She looked away from me, "I can't help it!" she cried "I should have stayed with Jac- _him. _I shouldn't have let him wander off like that!"

"Stop!" I shouted, putting her face in between my hands, "Stop it! How dare you even suggest that you played any part in this!" Her tears rolled into my palms and down my wrists. I tried to tone down my voice so that it would soothe her rather than frighten her but I was so angry. "What he did to you … to Charlie, to your entire family and life, was not your fault."

I never meant to react like that. I never meant to be that angry around her but I had been bottling it up, hoping to release it when she wasn't around.

"Kiss me …" she cried.

"What?" I froze.

"Please, just once." she put her forehead onto mine, "Even though you're here I feel so alone. So empty. Please … just kiss me."

My head told me not to, but my body reacted differently. I pulled her into me, not just her face but her entire body. Her lips pressed against mine frantically and her scent rushed through my nose. I forgot how difficult it was to be that close to her. Her fingers pulled at my hair as she moved over to sit on my lap, I pushed her away and tried to control myself.

"Too much?" she said.

"Three years doesn't change much, Bella. I'm still a vampire."

"I thought you were doing really good," she smiled, "if that helps at all."

He smiled weakly back at her and brushed her hair away with my hand, "You're so grown up."

She laughed blushing deep red, "Yeah, well_ I_ age."

"You do indeed. I didn't think that you'd change this much but you have."

She slowly leaned in to kiss me again, more gently this time, and moved off of my lap and back into the passenger seat. "Right … home."

I started the truck again and continued the drive to Bella's home. We made small talk but I think we were both trying to take in what just happened.

If Charlie was still awake then surely he wouldn't let me stay. But I couldn't leave her. After that kiss, there was no way. I was sucked back in … but I was happy that I had been. She seemed happy too, but maybe that was just a façade.

Her house came into view, exactly the same as it had always been. I pulled over into the drive and my senses twitched.

"Is that a w-"

"What?" she said confused.

"I smell a werewolf." I growled.

"Oh, yeah … um," she stuttered, "that's Seth. He's asleep."

"In your house?"

"Yeah. I didn't mention … and Alice apparently, didn't mention my dad marrying Sue."

If it beated, my heart would have stopped, "Clearwater? Sue Clearwater?"

"Yeah."

"And Seth, a werewolf, lives in your house. With you."

"Yeah."

"This is dangerous." I whispered turning my head to look out of the window.

She leaned over and turned my head back with her hand, "Don't worry about it."

Worry? The werewolf's lack of control was just as bad as their temperament, of course I was worrying.

"Hey, Edward." she said, kissing my cheek, "he's family now."

Something was wrong. Different. I straightened up and instinctively covered her with my arm.

"It's not Seth." I said. How did I not notice before. I knew that smell perfectly … putrid.

"What? Edward, it's just Seth that lives here. Sue's not a wolf and Leah's not staying with us tonight."

"He's here."

I got out of the car and slammed the door. Bella obviously followed. I never actually expected her to stay in the car.

"Who?" she said worryingly. "Edward, who is it?"

She stopped behind me and tensed up. I defensively crouched in front of her, baring my teeth. In front of us, not fifteen feet away, stood Jacob Black.

"What are _you_ doing here?" he roared at me.

"I could say the same for you."

Bella's breathing became rapid, "Go away!" she screamed. She tugged at her hair with her hands.

"Bella, love. Go inside." I ordered, "Now!"

"No!" she screamed, "Jacob, get the fuck out of here! How dare you come to my house!"

She walked forward and grabbed my arms, pulling me towards the house. I pulled her back and looked her in the eyes seriously, "Bella, go inside!"

"Not without you!"

"Oh, I see how it is." Jacob hissed, "You'll forgive him in a heartbeat but you won't even hear me out!"

"I don't want to hear anything that you have to say, now get the fuck off of my property!"

He took a step forward and I crouched further. Did he think I wouldn't attack him after what he did to her. I would be ready to kill him if it didn't endanger my family. He continued to walk. He was doing it on purpose.

"Come on then." he taunted me, holding out his arms, "Let's do this."

"No!" Bella screamed, darting in front of me, "Don't you dare."

I pulled her back, "Get out of the way, I don't want you getting hurt."

"You're hurting her every time you touch her, blood-sucker!"

"I didn't take her child away from her!" I roared.

He froze. Bella gasped.

"I will never hurt her the way you did, mutt. What you did to her was ... there isn't a word. How you can stand here now and how you can ever consider her forgiving you is ridiculous. You're embarrassing yourself. So do what she asked you do, and fuck off."

I wrapped my arm around Bella's waist and walked her to the door which she swiftly opened.

"What if he comes back?" she whispered.

"He won't. But if he does I'll be here. Don't worry about that."

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><p><strong>AN : I again would like to clarify that I love Jacob Black and have nothing against him ;) **

**... it just goes with the story, you know. **

**xox **


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